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    10/17/2008

    「絕世好文」

    今天看了一名初二學生的週記和作文,我並不期望可以看到文筆好的作品,只是也沒有想到是這樣子的......
    週記內容很有感情,可是是抄別人的......
    以下是他的作文,他說是「絕世好文」,你看看認同他的說法嗎?
    不過從另一層面去想,未嘗不是的(底線是他的錯處,括號是他的中文老師改的)
     
        小草         抒情散文
      小草給別人的印象就是微不足道(微不足道的印象),雖然我對小草認識不多,但是我知道小草的生命力很強,即使下著滂沱大雨,牠還是屹立不倒,很堅強的生活下去,你看,這不是值得我們跟牠學習嗎?
      有時候我在想,為甚麼小草無論遇到甚麼困難也不輕易放棄,但是有一些人卻比不上小草的毅力和決心,這不是小草的好處嗎?
      小草的顏色有翠綠色、淺綠色、深綠色等等。我喜歡小草的顏色是螢光綠(?),因為在黑夜中可以看到牠發亮(?),非常有趣。
      小草總是給別人看不起,如果大自然的小草突然消失了,那大自然受到破壞。其實小草在生活上是常用到牠的,例如:有時候躺在青草地上,一定會很舒服,海草,(刪去)小草是綠色的植物,多看綠色的植物會令到眼睛好一點。所以小草是非常有用的植物。
      「野火燒不盡,春風吹又生。」這句詩的大(概)意思是小草(有)頑強的生命力,小草不像人,它不會走路,不會說話,不會吃東西,但是小草有強壯的身體令人(佩)服,還有強而有力的臂彎。如果大自然是一幅畫,小草就是這幅畫的主角,沒有主角的話,這幅畫就沒有意思了,所以小草對於大自然是非常重要,我覺小草(有)堅強、毅力(刪去)的生命力,小草還有很多優點都很值得我們學習!
     
    老師評分:62
    老師評語:收尾過急,稍嫌敷衍,文意未盡!宜將內容深化!
     
    我的評分:不合格
    我的評語:無言,不予置評,錯漏百出的文章,很想看看哪種小草會發光......真是「得啖笑」。

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